Marriage Mediation — 

Making Your Marriage Happier and Healthier

COVID-19 Note: Mediation services are available online.

When does marriage mediation make sense?

• when different spending patterns are threatening a marriage
• when loss of a job and long unemployment have caused high levels of stress
• when a couple is considering divorce but thinks that renegotiating their relationship might save their marriage
• when a couple is planning to form a stepfamily
• when the honeymoon phase has ended and a couple wants help figuring out how to keep the sparkle in their relationship 

All of those are situations in which a family mediator can help.

Many couples live with enduring patterns of behavior that make one or both parties unhappy. As explained in Crucial Conversations, when you have a problem like that, you have three choices:

• Avoid discussing the issue,
• Face the issue and handle the conversation poorly, or
• Face the issue and handle the conversation well.

The first two options lead to ongoing frustration and dissatisfaction in the relationship. Often the negative feelings you are trying to suppress sneak out in ugly, destructive ways. Or you keep them bottled up until one day they explode.

Clearly, the third option is preferable. Happily, facing issues and having constructive, problem-solving conversations about them is something that most couples can learn to do. People can learn to handle crucial conversations constructively on their own. This is not about digging into your childhood to explore why you feel the way you do. It is not psychotherapy. It is looking at what matters to each of you and why and how you might each change your behavior so that both of you will have a happier, healthier relationship. You can rewrite some of the rules of your marriage. 

Many couples find that some topics are very difficult to discuss without an impartial, supportive professional in the room. While you are still learning to handle crucial conversations, a mediator can help you discuss the things that are hard to talk about and help you figure out what will improve your marriage or, if it’s in trouble, save your marriage.

John Fiske has been helping couples stay married on good terms for decades by providing marriage mediation services. Click on this link to hear his interview with Virginia Colin. He tells some engaging and encouraging stories from marriage mediation. You can download the interview and listen later on a smart phone or other device.

To schedule a free phone consultation with a professional family mediator, contact Dr. Virginia Colin at 571-431-9159 or info@cfmg-va.com.